Our Kids are Our Angels

2009-03-15T16:53:00.000-07:00

Well it's been awhile since I have posted anything. Life has been really busy, painting our house, working at my Mom and Dads house, and subbing at Lakeshore Little Peoples Place. Curt's work still is very slow, hopefully with nice weather a few people will call for repairs or remodeling, or a new home to be built. Zach is still struggling with school, and with losing Caleb. His moods are all over, it's time for summer break. Life still feels very abnormal, and doing things without Caleb still feels very strange. I have repainted Calebs room and left his Pooh mural up. We've taken out the wheelchair ramp, and now have both vehicles in the garage, it just doesn't seem right. We are ready for warmer weather and to see more sunshine. I'm sure Caleb is having fun in Heaven, what a great thought that is.

2009-02-09T15:33:00.000-08:00

Where did January go to, life just seems to be floating by. With life and all the sadness and struggles everyone seems to be having with no work, and for us also trying to find a normal in our family life, it's been difficult. We are trying hard to leave all the sadness and trials in Gods hands. Hopefully things start turning around for so many. Job had so many trials and he never gave up on God, he kept praying and believing. If he can go through everything he went through, than we surely can keep our faith also. God never said life would be easy, but the eternal life will be worth every thing.

Zach is still having his ups and downs with coping with Caleb's death, but I think its slowly getting better with time. He still struggles with school, and not wanting to do his homework, struggling with kids and teasing. Middle school is never easy. He has been doing age group swim, just for practice and not the competition, he seems to like it. He has got involved in his youth group and really enjoys going, next weekend he goes to Cran Hill, what will Curt and I do with no one home, it will be different.

2009-01-27T16:15:00.000-08:00

Life sure is very different with out Caleb to care for. I still am struggling to find a balance, just like Zachary and Curt. Days seem to just run into each other, and were just going through the motions of life. People have been very good to us.

This past week was a tough one, we donated Caleb's wheel chair and other belongings to his school, to hopefully help out other kids like him, but boy that made things really final. Our house is far to big now. Since Ashley moved out in May, after her wedding and Caleb's room empty now, we have far to many rooms. I'm sure Curt will find some way of filling them , since he is a pack rat. Zach is still struggling with many things, school, losing Caleb and all the changes that has made in his life. Please continue praying for our family and all those who are struggling in their lives with so many things.

We are Keeping Busy But:

2009-01-14T15:40:00.000-08:00

People have been keeping us busy over the last few weeks, which is great, but the knot in the stomach sure is not getting better. If anyone knows of someone who needs a handicapped van e-mail me at Carlawindemuller@hotmail.com, we have a mini van, 2005 in great shape and low mileage. Zach is back at school but seems to be fighting depression a bit. I think it has to do with Caleb and kids not being so kind. I'm thankful he has some great friends, to help him through all this. God has given us everything we needed, maybe not the way we would have wished, but he always is standiing along side us, I'm so thankful for that.

Over the years we have been blessed to meet a lot of families with special children. A few of these families are in need of prayers now, for their kids are having some big up and downs with their health. One family has a girl who is going through test, and possibly some surgeries, there are going to be some big decisions to be made, so I ask you to pray God will help them with making the right decisions. Others have been in the hospital a long time, and have other family members trying to live Quote the normal life to try to keep sane. Please pray for them to be able to all get home , and for the little girl to be healed.

It sure is empty

2009-01-05T04:58:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had a Happy New Year. It sure is a strange beginning to the New Year for us, nothing is the same. It was hard having everyone go back to either work what there is of it, for it is basically at a stand still for Curt, like alot of other people, and having Zach go back to school. I'm not really sure what to do now. Hopefully Zach can get back into the routine of school quickly. Again our family would like to say Thank you to all those who have been praying for Caleb and us, we would not have gotten through all of this without it.

2008-12-29T15:25:00.000-08:00

We buried Caleb today, it's the hardest thing to shut that casket and know you'll never see his body until we get to Heaven. Zachary played the piano beautifully for Caleb, and Pastor Ed Visscher did a awesome job with the message. Pastor Andre and our son in law, Heath Meyer did a great job with the video. I'm so glad we have the assurance we will be with Caleb again someday, until then I'm sure our family will have alot of ups and downs, while our lifestyle changes and life continues, but God is with us. Thanks for everyone who have been there for us in the last few days.

2008-12-25T05:29:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all. Caleb has gone into Gods arms. He passed away at around 5 o clock Christmas Eve. What a great present for him, he is healed and healthy. But our arms feel so empty, He has been such a big part of lives for fourteen topsy turvy years, with a lot of great memories, such as his belly laughs and the very special trips to Disney World with him meeting Winnie-the -pooh, to the many pneumonias and illness he had. It's amazing what a child like Caleb can give, he has taught us so many things in his short life. We were so blessed to be given him to take care of while he was here on earth. Now he is back with his heaveny Father, and playing with his brother Joshua. Thanks to all who have been praying for him, it's been a long road and we couldn't have done it without all of you. Please keep praying for our family, it's going to be a huge adjustment for us all.

2008-12-21T13:39:00.000-08:00

Here it is almost Christmas, Zach is so glad it is Christmas Vacation. He is enjoying having no school, but misses his friends. Zach is mad at me, for I did not put names on the presents under the tree, I think even Ashley is not very happy with it, ( I love it). We will be opening presents with just us and the kids on Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day we will hopefully get to go to church and then have a quiet day. The following weekend we have other family Christmas parties, weather permitting.

Caleb is slowly declining, he is less comfortable over the last few days. He is less responsive, and on oxygen most of the time. He has been congested, and we continue to deep suction him to help relieve him. He is very pale and very weak, and getting even thinner. Nights have not been so restful, so I get lots of time to think, sometimes thats not so good. Last night I was thinking about how lucky we are to have had Caleb here with us this long. All the fun times we have had with him. Boating, Sea doing, going to Disney World to meet his favorite buddy, Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger too, going to the cottage, camping and sitting by the fires. We have been so blessed to have Caleb in our lives. I think Caleb being handicapped, and Zachary having Autism, and raising Ashley and all of the sports events we sat at, God has given us a wide variety of experiences in our lives. Some have been very hard, some have been very joyous, but we have learned from each to live in the moment, and try to enjoy every little bit, for tomorrow it may all change. The biggest thing I have learned is to trust in God and he will lead us through every moment, good or bad. Hope eveyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year,

2008-12-14T09:34:00.000-08:00

Caleb at his Christmas program at the OAC, last year.

Caleb is not very comfortable, he is struggling with congestion. We have him on oxygen, and are suctioning a lot. He is not taking in a lot of fluids, and basically has had very little formula for at least 6 days, ( about 6 to 8 ounces of fluids, and maybe up to 3 ounces of formula if any in a day). Caleb is losing a lot of weight and is becoming very thin. I think as a parent it is one of the worst thing not to be able to feed your child, and get him the nourishment they need, and basically watch him starve before your eyes. We feel so helpless, we continue to pray for him to be comfortable.

2008-12-10T16:52:00.000-08:00

Caleb at Frederick Meijer

Gardens a few years ago.

Caleb has another rough 2 days. Back on oxygen, temperatures, and moans all the time, like there might be pain. This morning he seems a little better, so maybe he'll get back off oxygen today. It seems like all the changes in weather effect him badly. I call him my little energizer bunny, he just keeps going and going, he is our fighter, he is not going to go easy. I figure with Windemuller blood and Lohman blood he has no choice but to be a fighter. We all wonder if he will make Christmas, or if his Christmas present will be the best present he ever had, by being able to go home to Heaven, and out of pain. But we hope he makes one more Christmas with us.

2008-12-04T10:51:00.000-08:00

Caleb has quieted down a bit since this weekend. He is off and on oxygen, more on. He has basically not had any formula for 5 days now, just living on about 6-8 ounces of pedialyte a day. His temperature is still bouncing all over. He is such a amazing kid, he has such fight to live. Please keep praying for his comfort, its been harder to find comfort lately.

Caleb was visited by his teachers from school the other day. It was parent teacher conferences and they said he wasn't going to get away with not having them, so they came to him. Caleb is so lucky to have the care from his teachers over the years. The Ottawa Area is a amazing place, the school does so much for disabled children, but they wouldn't be able to do it without their staff. Caleb still even has the privilege to have his nurse come to see him. Thanks to all who have had Caleb over the years.

2008-12-01T14:31:00.000-08:00

Caleb has had a tough weekend, he is back on oxygen and lungs have alot of fluid in them. He has not been very comfortable as breathing is difficult. Since Friday Caleb has maybe had 8oz of formula, and a couple of ounces of pedilyte with meds. The nurse from Hospice has upped his pain meds, and he is sleeping soundly for now, I'm glad to see this. His blood pressure is very low, and his heart rate and temperatures are bouncing all over. Friday night he had a temp of 104.3 and within 12 hrs his temp went down to 96.6, so the range is very drastic. I can't even imagine how hard this has to be on him. Caleb's stomach is being torn up by the meds, he has quiet a bit of blood in his residuals from his g-tube, this I would think is very painful. I am sure glad we have God by us, this would be terrible if Caleb had to go through this by himself and we did not have any one to lean on at these times.

2008-11-28T10:04:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and ate lots of food. We had a very good Thanksgiving, we had to seperate and take turns going to our folk's homes, and then ate our selves silly. Caleb had a very quiet day relaxing at home. He has been very quiet, lots of sleeping, and still not getting more than 7 oz. of formula in during the day. We were very Thankful for still having him here with us this Holiday, and for all the people who have been praying for our family. Zach and I went out shopping at 5:oo a.m., Zach has never been shopping with that many people, he said it was fun. This past year the economy has made life harder for alot of us, but we still have it better than so many , God is good.

2008-11-20T06:39:00.000-08:00

Caleb has had a few very comfortable days. He has taken in about 5 to 7 oz of formula in these days. Yesterday he started with more congestion, we think he is asperating food into his lungs. We backed off on the amount of food that is given to see if we can get the congestion under control, before it gets as bad as last Thursday. Caleb is starting to lose a lot of weight, his oxygen levels have been holding steady in the high 80's to low 90's, which for him is good. He has not been sleeping very well for the last few nights, he thinks he has to be up at 4 to 4:30 in the morning. I think Caleb is getting weaker, he has no muscle control anymore, he's like a rag doll. Thanks to all who are praying for Caleb and our family

As many of you know our youngest son Zach has autism. I would like to ask for prayers for him also. Zach struggles with social issues, he is starting to realize he is not like everyone else, and wants to be so badly. Zach struggles with depression, and school is a big struggle for him not to mention everything going on at home. Zach is very fun, and has a huge heart, and he's going through a very tough age with lots of changes. It's tough for the quote normal child, let alone being autistic. I ask for prayers also for the teachers and friends to give them what they need to work with Zach. He seems to have a great group of teachers around him this year, which is so important.

2008-11-15T09:04:00.000-08:00

Caleb is a little more comfortable, thanks to the new meds. He has not had any foods for a few days, just enough pedialyte to get his meds down. I've been able to get him back off the oxygen, for now, and his heart rate is lower. It's amazing how strong his body is to keep going through these up and down swings. Grandpa's and Grandma's have come just about everyday to see Caleb, he is a lucky little boy to have such wonderful Grandparents, who love him so much. His sister calls everyday to check in, this is all taking it's toll on everyone, Good thing we all believe in God and know someday he will be out of all his pain, until then we are doing our best to take care of Caleb and love him.

2008-11-13T11:40:00.000-08:00

Caleb is having a very tough day. He is very congested, and on 4 liters of Oxygen, to be able to keep him at about 91% oxygen, which means he's not breathing very easily. We gave him lots of different meds to try to help him relax, but still is not finding sleep. As a parent this has to be the hardest thing to watch your child suffering, and not be able to anything about it. Right now I would give anything to see him giggle at Winnie the Pooh on Tv. I pray God will let him find rest and comfort soon.

2008-11-11T18:28:00.000-08:00

Caleb is not having a very easy day. He is very congested, we put him on oxygen to see if we can make him a little more comfortable, and gave him some nebulizer meds, to hopefully open his air ways a little more. I think it will a long night, hope not for his sake. We asked Hospice to put him on a antibiotic, just in case it would pneumonia again. I'm glad I know God's angels are surrounding and watching over him, until he is safe in Gods arms.

2008-11-10T17:11:00.000-08:00

Caleb has had a pretty quiet weekend, seems to do more sleeping, having a hard time today keeping his extremities from getting cold. So we wrapped him in 5 big blankets, and finally he has warmed up. Suctioned more than normal the last few days. But I'm glad he stayed fairly comfortable, hopefully God continues to grant him that. Please continue to pray for comfort, and peace.

2008-11-08T05:51:00.000-08:00

Camping at Ludington State Park 2007

The prayers are helping, Caleb has been very comfortable for the passed 2 days. He still is not taking more than 8 oz of formula a day. We still continue to suction when necessary, his temperature bounces all over from 99 to 103, but his seizures seem to be easing off at least for now. Caleb skin is starting to break down in spots, from laying so much, hopefully they do not break open. God says he will never give you more than you can handle and Phlippians 4:19 says and my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Zach continues to struggle with all this, he wants alot of attention at times, and other times he wants to be left alone. We pray that he will concentrate on the small phase from Psalms that says be still and know that I am God. He continues to do well at school, with some really good friends and mentors by his side, that are helping him through this also.

2008-11-06T14:08:00.000-08:00

Caleb's 14th birthday party, he wasn't feeling very good on this day, but he had about 62 people say happy birthday to him. Hopefully he appreciated it, but I know as parents it something that we will always treasure. God gave us him for 14 years to love and to take care of, and in the process taught us patience, and how to love unconditionally.

2008-11-06T13:38:00.000-08:00

A few people have ask me to tell you a little more on what Leigh's syndrome is. Leigh's is a metabolic problem, Caleb has many seizures, and is on many different medications for these. By 1 yr. old Caleb could no longer eat by mouth for his muscles in his throat were to weak, so a G-Tube was put in. Caleb was never able to roll, or sit up, or walk, or talk. He could laugh and use eye contact. Caleb was not suppose to live pass 3 yrs, and what a miracle he is still here. Caleb over the years has really enjoyed watching Winnie- the-Pooh videos or listening to it on his cassette player. Without Pooh playing Caleb cryed and fussed, so needless to say our family knows all the Pooh tapes by heart. Caleb has always been made a big part of our family, he came along almost everywhere with us, that is sometimes a big challenge. Caleb really enjoyed going to Disney World and meeting all the characters. Caleb has gone through a lot in his life from many pnemonias and sickness, to just slowly watching more and more strength being taken from his body. Our first son Joshua, also had Leigh's syndrome, he only lived until he was 2 yrs. Leigh's is genetic and we were very fortunate our daughter didn't have this. They do not no where the genetic link is in our family. Leigh's syndrome is a rare disease, and hard to diagnose. If anyone would like to ask questions or comment you may contact me at Carlawindemuller@hotmail.com

2008-11-05T15:09:00.000-08:00

I know a few people have been following a friends blog, for updates on Caleb and the Family, here goes my attempt at trying to do this. Caleb has had a very quiet day, he has been sleeping a lot , but very comfortable. He is not able to eat much or take on a lot of fluids, his body is not handling it. He had a very fussy weekend, so I am so thankful God gave him rest today. Zach continues to struggle with all the emotions he has with all of this. We really appreciate all the prayers for Caleb and our Family. Please continue praying for comfort for Caleb, and understanding for Zach as he struggles through something us as adults have a hard time with.

2008-11-05T14:33:00.000-08:00

Zach is such the character, he loves to scuba dive and go on vacation

2008-11-05T13:47:00.000-08:00

Caleb turned 14 yrs just recently, we had a big party for him. Nobody ever thought he would make his 14th birthday, God sure has been good to us.

Ashley

2008-11-05T12:51:00.000-08:00

Ashley got married on May 1, 2008, to Heath Meyer. She was a beautiful bride. Ashley and Heath are both students at Grand Valley.

2008-11-05T12:35:00.000-08:00

First time blogger

2008-11-05T09:27:00.000-08:00

Ok, here it goes, everyone is blogging these day, so I thought I try my hand at it. Our family has had it major up and downs, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. We choose this title for obvious reasons. Our children are our life, from beginning to letting some go into our Fathers hand. We hope with sharing this blog with you, everyone will see our joys and hardships.

Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through Him who gives me strengths."